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FITUR: Gañotera Survival Guide

Wednesday begins FITUR, the sarao of the saraos of the world of tourism, the panacea of ​​the holiday exhibition, of attracting customers and travelers thirsty for new alternatives. Some go to do business, others to inform themselves, and others (the ones that most) to rap with all possible sponsored gifts, meals and souvenirs. This is an unprofessional guide for all of them, especially for the most gañoteros.

The concept of 'gañote' is a colloquial adverbial phrase that comes to mean 'on the face, with a lot of nose, a cap ...' and is an expression that reaches its maximum splendor at fairs where they give things away. FITUR It has been placed as the definitive event for this type of characters that come (we attend) in pursuit of the best souvenir. Total, it's free !! But as much as the experience pretends to be the mother of science, there are always mistakes to avoid and tips to follow so as not to get scalded.
SHOPPING LIST
The economic self-help gurus, those who are being covered by the negative economic situation, always ensure that making the shopping list is one of the best tricks to save every time you leave home. Well here the same, make yourself a shopping list, reconsider and think: What can FITUR do for me and for the independent republic of my house? Well, surely you don't need three hundred thousand brochures of countries and destinations that you don't even know how to pronounce. Nor does it need 512 megabyte USBs full of photos that, on top, cannot be deleted. Ah! And keep in mind that the forty-ninth pen can be the final one. However, it is possible that you are interested in that gift, that star product that some smart stand has managed to place between eyebrows and eyebrows of every visitor And how is it detected? Continue reading
LADIES WITHOUT GLASSES WITH A LINCE VIEW
If Spain can contribute something to the EU, it is to those ladies who manage to make the weekly purchase with € 15.76. Ladies who, when they go to a fair, have the corneas sensitive to the word 'free', their ears tuned to detect the term 'is a raffle' and the domesticated smell to smell a passion fruit juice in 15 kilometers around. It is like that. Y they are the best guides, the Gandalf for small inexperienced Frodos, after all, the best travel companion. Follow them, do not succumb to the temptation to abandon your parsimonious and hesitant walk and increase speed. Although they may not seem so, in the gift / time ratio they are unsurpassed. Of course, it is your decision to discriminate against the essentials.
THE BAG
The bag, in all its concepts and evolutions, is the best friend of the gañotero. But beware, in the singular. The fewer units you accumulate the better, since they are usually paper, an impractical and appalling genre that adds a touch of suspense to the visit. When will it break? So, in case of doubt, leave home with a copy of fabric in case the flies that will help you to gradually select what interests you. Now, if you are an absolute fan of colored bags, those that are used to bring gifts to a birthday and to appear, here it is in your paradise whenever you double, pamper and store them well in a bag previously chosen to be sacrificed .
THE CAR
The latest technology in home transport is here! And it took his thing to reach this type of fairs. The fact is that some wasp company has managed to increase its impacts at the fair by giving away something so simple. The long lines (which in FITUR are those longer than 5 minutes) will be worth it. However, keep in mind that out of context it is a frowned-on gadget, so don't go to Mercadona or go on a field trip with him.

Shopping by Fitur © Cordon Press

'The smoker': extinct but essential species at the Fair © Cordon Press

PHYSICAL TRAINING
(Read with the music of Fire cars in the background): three hundred thousand stands, dozens of pavilions, endless kilometers of colored carpets ... FITURthlon is a very demanding sport that mixes resistance, power and orientation. It is an exercise that requires a physical background for the aerobic process of standing and holding the tails and anaerobic power to arrive before anyone else for the sponsored souvenir. Another fundamental physical requirement is that of the automatic 'I', the ability to appear to be interested in the milonga that the professional on duty requires you to listen before giving you the gift. Pure education Have phrases like "What a wonder" or "This year I convince Paco and the children to go there on vacation."
THE LINE
There is a border that should not be crossed. It is the one that separates the heart of the big stands from the hallways. It is an imaginary line, delimited by the counters, an area that should not be invaded by the menacing look of the hostesses (being bipolar par excellence) unless you are or look like a VIP visitor, of those who are received with all kinds of attention. If you ever manage to be part of this superior race, it is your duty to look over the shoulder at those on the other side of the border. They are mere Sundays of FITUR.
AVITUALLING
Not everything is gifts. Then there are those delicacies, those bites for gods that have crossed the planet to reach the noses of visitors. And there even the most fussy loses all criticism and objectivity. Given the place and circumstances, Turmekistan's pistachio cake tastes like caviar. The commotion that is organized around the most cook countries is radical, it is completely disproportionate. Furor and salivation raised to maximum power. The recommendations are simple: do the same as with gifts and, above all, do not think that it is the last feast of your life. Especially since the risk of empacho generated by the anxiety of thinking that this is the last stand that gives food is very high. And, above all, look for that country that gives free drinking, it will be your new home. The multicultural mejunje that is organized in the stomach needs to be watered for proper digestion.

ESE EURO
Seriously, really, it may hurt to pay for so much free apology. But many times it is worth it. If you decide no, that there is no budget, nothing happens, but at least do not put face of maximum offense, that probably nobody is asking for an exorbitant amount of money for that gift / meal. And more taking into account the just quality / price ratio that exists in IFEMA establishments. Really, contemplate that option, you will not regret it.
DRAWINGS
The faces of the assistants of FITUR when leaving the fair is a mixture of fatigue and illusion. The feeling of leaving thinking that you are going to play a raffle or that the best souvenir is not in the bag, but in the email, is inevitable. From here a tip: Do not deprive yourself of the illusion, participate in any raffle and, remember, choose the option not to subscribe to the newsletter. Too Spam, too many dreams with advertising every morning in the inbox.

Fitur: a race in the background © Cordon Press

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